Thursday, October 2, 2008

Boys are Idiots, Part III

Okay, so remember the idiot who thought so highly of himself that he thought I was going to sleep with him after only minutes of knowing him??? Well, a few days after breaking the news to him that I didn’t want anything to do with him anymore, I received this e-mail at 12:27 am. It was a freaking novel. Some of the things he said are just so unbelievable, I had to share. It kind of reminds me of the infamous “Dimitri.” Here are a few choice excerpts:

Next, I am confident in myself. I am not immediately concerned with what happens between us, beyond that we stay in contact. You have a life to live as do I and if something develops it does. If it does not, it does not. I am in no place to judge you or become upset if you go on a date or whatever. What you do in Dallas is your business. I am confident that if this is meant to be it is meant to be. If not we will both go on with our lives separately. But, one thing I will not do is let something slip through my fingers with out exploring it.

He won't let me slip through his fingers? Sounds like a bit of a control freak to me.

Maybe we will end up as friends, as lovers, as a fling, as a life experience or a love like no other. Who knows? It is far too early to tell. But, whatever it is we won’t know if we run away before we explore it. I don’t like talking on the phone either. And I’m not looking to take up all your time. I’m not looking to pressure you into anything. But I won’t allow myself go off into the sunset with out articulating my thoughts. We had a damn good night, and I think we could have a lot of fun.

A damn good night?? A drunken conversation that took place over a few hours at a blackjack table?? And I hate when people use the word "lovers." It conjures up images of frolicking in rainbows, playing with kittens, and riding in hot air balloons. Barf.

I have lived a life like few others. Some of it good. some of it bad, but all of it lead me to be the person that I am today. I may have come on a little strong, but I wasn’t going to go home wondering, “what if?” I won’t allow myself to live a life under a cloud of, “what if.” I make my own destiny. I won’t dwell on things but, I won’t allow myself to sit idly by and be a person who didn’t act. In my line of work we have a motto, (a bit cliché I know,) “Lead, follow or get out of the way.” I’m not much for “B” or “C.”

This dude is a walking, talking cliche.

We only get one time around on this ride and I won’t look back and see tons of regret or missed opportunities. I will look back and see one Hell of a story. The question is, are you going to write yourself out of it before we know what your role in it is?

Gag. Me.

Look, I had a great time and I think you did too. You said you were looking to explore what you wanted out of life and see what it was that you wanted. I am an excellent chance at that. I am looking to do the same. I think being as that we are going through similar things at the same time we may be a good balance for each other. Not too close and no too far. There is plenty of breathing room.

Uh, so he thinks that HE is what I want?

You have piqued my interest. But your decisions are yours to make. Don’t pass up a whole lot of fun and self discovery, when there are no expectations and no pressure from me. We hit it off pretty well as was evident by the evening in Vegas. I think you should look into this just a little before closing this door. And if you do decide to just know it isn’t locked. You can walk through it again whenever you like. I am not mad and I do understand, but why not have some fun?

In the words of Nancy Kerrigan, "WHY ME?"


sleepypasture said...

ditto on the word "lovers." *barf*

ann said...

RUN, ASHLEY, RUN! He's scary!

beth said...

wow, to write that much after only knowing someone briefly....scary! i second Ann - RUN! PS I loved your Nancy Kerrigan line at the end - LOL!!! Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this, but do not answer that email. Do not answer any of this dude's emails. Delete, block, ignore.

gigiofca said...

omg -- he is so full of it he may not even notice if you ignore him because he will be espousing his self-importance to the next chick.


gigiofca from jcrewaficionada :-)

Slastena said...

LOL! Thanks for posting, it was HILARIOUS. The guy is a unique specimen indeed, just not in a good way. Freak show!!!
Run away!!