Boys are Idiots, Most of the Time

Notice how I used this word “boys” and not “men.” Anyhow, this is not consumerist-related, but I think it is worth discussing, because this is something that continues to amaze me. I have barely been single a month and already I have had to tell TWO guys the following, albeit a little bit sugarcoated:

“NO, I do NOT want to be in a relationship with you. Hello? Have I not told you that I JUST got out of a VERY long relationship? NO, I do NOT want to date you. NO, I do NOT want to just hang out or talk, even as friends. Please leave me alone.”

Somehow, it seems that guys get the impression that if you are not a complete bitch to them and if you talk to them for more than 2 minutes that you are so OBVIOUSLY into them and cannot wait to hang out with them again, have sex with them (YES, one of these dudes thought so highly of himself that he assumed that I would totally sleep with him if he had the proper protection on him that night. SERIOUSLY???????????), or go visit them in New Orleans. After only having known each other for half an hour, tops. Whoa, buddy, get a hold of your ego, there!!

Okay, so maybe in these two instances I might have given out my phone number when asked, but it was only out of not wanting to be perceived as being mean. Well, I have learned my lesson now. No more Miss Nice Girl from now on. I simply don’t have time for that crap anymore. Life is too short to spend parts of it talking to or dealing with people who irritate you or add no value to it.

It was already a step in the right direction for me to tell these two idiots point blank that I don’t want to be friends with them or talk to them anymore. This, by the way, is completely necessary, because if you agree to hang out with a guy under the pretense of “friends,” it is only a matter of time before he tries to make his way into your pants. I am of the school of thought that it is a rare occurrence that a straight guy will actually want to be platonic friends with a woman and nothing more. Feel free to disagree, but this has been my experience.

So now I just need to practice not giving out my number, as this will prevent me from suffering through future unwanted phone calls or text conversations in the first place. I have already figured out my line next time an idiot asks for my number: “Sorry, this just really isn’t a good time in my life for this right now,” or something to that effect. Do you think it will work??